Helping yourself to grieve

• Take your own feelings seriously.
• Accidents are more common after serious loss.
• Do drive more carefully.
• Be more careful around the home.
• When someone offers to help you with something, let them.
• Keep in touch with family and friends.
• Talk about the person who has died.
• Write about how you feel - in a book or as a poem. Allow yourself to cry.
• Make an album that records your memories.
• Go at your own pace - there is no rigid timetable to follow.
• Check your progress periodically. Are the down times less frequent or less intense than they were originally?
• Light a candle.
• Do what feels right for you, not what other people say you "should".
• Avoid making hasty decisions, especially major ones like moving house.
• Write a letter to the person who has died and read it out loud.
• Have a plan for each day. One task at a time.
• Go through photos with family and friends.
• Don't expect too much and don't be too hard on yourself.
• Continue to talk to the dead person.
• Plant a tree.
• Do something nice for yourself each day :
  : : Listen to music :: Ring a friend :: Have a rest :: Soak in a bath.
• Develop a hobby.
• Plan ahead and decide how you want to spend anniversaries, weekends, holidays.
• Try to maintain your regular routine.
• Share your experiences with others: Talk to a friend :: Join a support group.
• Go to a counsellor or someone who is a trained listener.
• Take care that you eat well and are getting adequate sleep.
• Go for a walk or a visit to the gym. Exercise is important for your health and is also a good way to work off tensions.
• Seek accurate information about grief and grieving. Knowing what to expect means you will be less stressed.
• Begin to deliberately let go of and say goodbye to the loved one who has died.
• Recall and acknowledge the high points, the happy memories from the past. Acknowledge also the not-so-happy and difficult memories.